Employee Spotlight
This
month we would like to highlight the Office Manager of the Light
House at the Winthrop Beacon, Ms. Ashley Dunlap. Ashley came to
Sesame through the SFI Steel Pan Orchestra in 2011. She displayed
her leadership abilities as a player/manager and since then, she has
contributed to Sesame Flyers providing administrative support to the
Main Office and Cultural Center and she has been an integral part of
the Light House staff.
This past summer, Ashley
took on a leadership role and greater responsibility in our Summer
Camp program, which helped in its overall success. Outside of the
Light House, Ashley is a senior at Brooklyn College in the
Speech-Language Pathology program and doing extremely well in her
classes. We are grateful to have an asset such as Ashley a part of
the Sesame Flyers staff. We look forward to continued greatness from
her! |
10 Tips for Excellence in Parenting and Being Engaged
As we all know parenting, although the most rewarding, is one of the
toughest jobs on the planet. Yet, it does not come with a customized
instruction manual. As a parent I am always looking for ways to
improve my parenting skills and be the best Mom I can be for my
girls. This month at 211 our program is being dedicated to building
self-confidence in our participants with a leadership piece entitled
"THE BEST ME". Self-confidence comes from a sense of competence. A
confident child needs a positive and realistic perception of his or
her abilities. This arises out of achievements, great and small. We
ask that you the parents, guardians, siblings and extended family
members join us on this mission to build your child's confidence.
Your encouraging words can certainly help develop this confidence,
especially when you refer to your child's specific efforts or
abilities. Below are some great tips I've come across to build
confidence in children.
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Love your child. This seems obvious, but it's probably the most
important thing you can give your child. Even if you do it
imperfectly—and who doesn't?—always dole out plenty of love. Your
child needs to feel accepted and loved, beginning with the family
and extending to other groups such as friends, schoolmates, sports
teams, and community. If you yell or ignore or make some other
parenting mistake, give your child a hug and tell her you're sorry
and you love her. Unconditional love builds a strong foundation for
confidence.
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Give praise where praise is due. It's important to give your
child praise and positive feedback because children—especially young
ones—measure their worth and achievements by what you think. But be
realistic in your praise. If a child fails at something or shows no
talent at a particular skill, praise the effort, but don't
unrealistically praise the results. Reassure your child that it's OK
not to be able to do everything perfectly. Tell him that some things
take repeated effort and practice—and sometimes it's OK to move on
after you've given your best effort.
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Help your child set realistic goals. When your child is starting
out in soccer, it's fine for her to think she'll eventually be on
the Olympic team. But if she fails to make the varsity team in high
school and still thinks she's an Olympic-caliber player, then she
needs to focus on more realistic goals. Guide your child to set
reasonable goals to help avoid feelings of failure. If the goal is a
stretch, discuss some reachable short-term steps along the path.
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Model self-love and positive self-talk. You must love yourself
before you can teach your child to love him or herself. You can
model this behavior by rewarding and praising yourself when you do
well. Whether you run a marathon, get a promotion at work or throw a
successful dinner party, celebrate your successes with your
children. Talk about the skills and talents and efforts needed for
you to achieve those accomplishments. In the same conversation, you
can remind your child of the skills he or she possesses and how they
can be developed and used.
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Teach resilience. No one succeeds at everything all the time.
There will be setbacks and failures, criticism and pain. Use these
hurdles as learning experiences rather than dwelling on the events
as failures or disappointments. The old adage, "Try, try, try
again," has merit, especially in teaching kids not to give up. But,
it's also important to validate your child's feelings rather than
saying, "Oh, just cheer up," or, "You shouldn't feel so bad." This
helps children learn to trust their feelings and feel comfortable
sharing them. Children will learn that setbacks are a normal part of
life and can be managed. If your child does poorly on a test, don't
smother him with pity or tell him that he'll never be a good reader.
Instead, talk about what steps he can take to do better next time.
When he does succeed, he will take pride in his accomplishment.
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Instill independence and adventure. Self-confident children are
willing to try new things without fear of failure. With younger
children, you will need to supervise from the sidelines. Set up
situations where she can do things for herself and make sure the
situation is safe—but then give her space. For example, demonstrate
how to make a sandwich and then let her try it on her own, without
your hovering or intervening. Encourage exploration, whether it's a
trip to a new park or new foods at mealtime. Daytrips and outings,
new hobbies, vacations and trips with teammates or schoolmates can
all expand your child's horizons and build confidence in her ability
to handle new situations.
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Encourage sports or other physical activities. No longer the sole
domain of boys, sports help girls and boys build confidence. They
learn that they can practice, improve and achieve goals. Other
benefits: they learn to recognize their strengths, accept or
strengthen their weaknesses, handle defeat, expand their circle of
friends and learn teamwork. Another confidence-boosting bonus: they
stay fit and learn to respect their bodies. With the obesity
epidemic among children, this is important, even if your child
doesn't pursue organized sports. Try to find a physical activity
that he or she enjoys, whether it's dance, martial arts, biking or
hiking.
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Support their pursuit of a passion. Everyone excels at something,
and it's great when your child discovers that something. As a
parent, respect and encourage your child's interests—even if they
don't interest you. Praise your child when they accomplish something
in their budding pursuits. If your son’s talent is playing guitar in
a band, support his interest, as long as it doesn’t interfere with
responsibilities like schoolwork. This doesn't mean you give free
reign for your teenager to stay out all night or smoke pot in your
garage, which brings us to the next tip.
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Set rules and be consistent. Children are more confident when
they know who is in charge and what to expect. Even if your child
thinks your rules are too strict, she will have confidence in what
she can and can't do when you set rules and enforce them
consistently. Every household will have different rules, and they
will change over time based on your child's age. Whatever your
household rules, be clear on what is important in your family.
Learning and following rules gives children a sense of security and
confidence. As children get older they may have more input on rules
and responsibilities. But, it's important to remember that you are
the parent—not a best friend. Someday when your child is feeling
peer pressure, he or she may appreciate having the foundation and
confidence to say, "No, I can't do that."
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Coach relationship skills. Confidence in relationships is key to
your child's self-confidence. The most important initial
relationship is the loving parent-child relationship. But as your
child's social circle expands, you will help her see how her actions
affect others—and help her learn to maintain an inner core of
confidence when someone else's actions affect her. As a parent, it's
not your role to "fix" every situation, but rather to teach your
child the compassion, kindness, self-assertiveness and, yes,
confidence to handle the ups and downs of relationships.
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